Before you read this, I want you to know that I’m choosing to open myself up and be transparent with you. I’m going to speak openly about some of my struggles I have faced when it comes to trying to stay in a state of purity. I believe that transparency is needed in order to help and heal. No you are not going to know EVERY single detail of every struggle or temptation I have ever had in my life. lol So if you’re only reading this to speculate, get all the juicy details of Ashley’s mistakes and falls, then please stop reading now. I have written this for the soul purpose of helping and healing someone else by telling my story. I am far from perfect and God is still working on me. It’s only by His grace, mercy, and never ending love that I am the person I am today. I’m praying for healing for you and whoever else’s eyes may read this.
I am a Christian, I am a virgin, I am single, I am a lover of Christ Jesus however, I have struggled with sexual temptations, thoughts, and sins…COUNTLESS TIMES! I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MANY TIMES. Although I have never slept with any person physically I have allowed my lust and my own curiosity to overtake me. I have also been tempted at times to sleep with people while in their physical presence. I know, you’re probably thinking, “I can’t believe you’re actually telling us this? Like are you serious Ashley?” Yes I am as serious as a HEART ATTACK! I have been tempted many times with this sin by all avenues. From me fantasizing about a crush, or when my affections grew for a particular guy I was talking the temptation was always there. Even from watching romantic love movies that had me in my feelings and thinking what it would be like to carry out my lustful thoughts. And no I was not ALWAYS strong when I was presented with a sexual temptation. I have fallen before..yes I have fallen before. I’m saying all this to be honest with you so I can help you. Just like you, I struggle and it’s a constant battle. Just because someone is a Christian virgin does not mean they do not struggle with sexual temptations. Lawd! The struggle is definitely real! LOL! I’m being so serious. I have to fight everyday to choose to say yes to the spirit and no to the flesh. I want you to know as you read this, that you are NOT alone. We ALL struggle with sexual sins and temptations in some form or fashion. WE ALL DO!
Through all of this, one of the most important things that I had to realize is that remaining in a state of purity is not JUST the physicality aspect but most importantly it’s the mental and spiritual aspect of being pure. Once I understood this concept, the journey of staying in a state of purity was made easier. After many mistakes and falls, it took me 22 years to understand this concept of true purity. Please don’t miss understand what I’m saying. I’m not saying keeping yourself pure is an easy process. Trust me, it definitely is NOT! However, having God as your strength and keeping all your reasons for staying pure in spiritual perspective makes the process easier. Remember, “Actions without purpose are pointless and as a result won’t lead to continual perseverance if the understanding of purpose is not attached with those actions.” Practical application: Just trying to abstain from the physical act of sex is not ALL that is takes to stay in a state of purity and remain pure before the Lord. It’s so much more than that! It takes realizing your full and intended purpose which is to glorify, honor, and love God. Having the purpose of God attached to your actions brings about continual perseverance.
You see for me…God had to check my heart. I was thinking I was okay because I had not physically had sex but through His word, He showed me that I was in sin within my heart. I was just as wrong as the girl sleeping with various guys or sleeping with her boyfriend because I was entertaining my lustful thoughts. I had to realize that God called me to a higher purpose of purity. He wanted my heart to be pure before Him and He wanted my thoughts to glorify Him. Physical virgins have NO ROOM to boast or raise their noses to people who are no longer physical virgins if they have been committing those same sexual sins within their hearts or have been pushing the boundary lines of sex. In fact NOBODY has room to boast about anything, because we all have fallen and we all have sinned and are sitting at the mercy and love of God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” -Romans 3:23
OVERCOMING SEXUAL TEMPTATION
I have said all of this to let you know that IT IS POSSIBLE to overcome and fight temptation! The flesh doesn’t always have to win, the spirit can win if you allow it to. We should be so thankful for the mercy and love of God. He’s so wonderfully awesome that when we are presented with a sexual temptation, or any temptation, He ALWAYS provides a way of ESCAPE.
“There is no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.” -1 Cor 10:13
That means God will always give us an avenue in which we can resist, leave, and overcome the temptation. HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!? The only thing is, God is not going to make us choose the avenue. He’s going to give us the choice of either falling into the temptation or resisting it. It’s up to us! So I want to encourage you from this day forward, strive to always resist whatever sexual temptation you encounter. Trust me it will be worth it in the end. If you fall just get back up! Don’t stay in the sin. Remember, we may not win every battle, but we can win the ultimate fight if we continue walking in Christ light. (1 John 1: 6-7)
“If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” – 1 John 1:6-7
You can overcome my friend. Stay Encouraged!
To be continued