Hello my name is Ashley Moneet Williams and I am a recovering “Trust Issues Addict.” This whole thing is still fairly new for me, but God is helping me get through it with each new day. I’ll be honest. I’ve had a couple of relapses since I first entered “Trust Issues Rehab.” Many nights and many days..I slowly slipped back into my old habits. You know the ones..closing my heart off, being extremely guarded to God and others, and seeking to control my life out of fear of getting hurt again. But you know the amazing part about this whole journey? God’s faithful love.
During my rehab journey, God has revealed so much about how to overcome trust issues. Every day, I’m learning new steps. And some days we’re having to go over the same steps I learned previously. I know I’m not the only one dealing with overcoming this whole “trust issue thing.” I thought I would take some time to highlight some of the steps that have been life altering and soul healing for me. I promise I won’t be long.
Step #1: A Willing Heart
Trust and love are both matters of the will, that then overflow from the sincerity of the heart. Trust in God, starts with a willing heart. God is so loving and so compassionate that He doesn’t make us do anything. Because love would not be love if it was forced, or God sought to control us. He loves us enough to give us the freedom to choose to trust Him. God doesn’t desire robotic humans. He desires faithful and sincere servants of Him, who desire to worship Him with all that is within them. Something God has been so patient in unveiling to me, is this astounding reality: Trusting Him is not about perfection but about dedication. He wants you and me to have a consistent willingness to trust Him. That willingness shouldn’t be just a one time thing, it has to be an every day thing..a lifestyle kind of thing. In order to grow in trust toward God, our heart must have a consistent posture toward God that says, “Lord I want to trust you. Help me to trust you. I am willing.” As long as we stay in a state of fear, stubbornness, or unwillingness, trust cannot grow. Some days it will be easier for us to surrender our hearts to trust God, and other days..it will feel like we’re trying to climb Mt. Everest with flip flops on. Lol No matter how easy or how difficult, just keep a willing heart.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This the first and greatest commandment.”
Step #2: An Open Heart
This step may sound very similar to the first one, but believe when I say, it’s a bit different and still so very important. Have you ever heard the statement, “Closed mouths don’t get fed?” Well I have a new statement I want us all to keep in our long term memory: “Closed hearts, won’t get love.” What do I mean by this? God and so many others can give love to us, but it is our responsibility and choice whether or not we choose to receive the love they are giving. You see..love and trust go hand and hand. Think of them like siamese twins. If we say we love God, then we will trust God. But here is the beautiful thing… if we first open up our hearts to receive God’s love, it will be the segway to us trusting God. The key is staying OPEN to GOD. I will write that again, the key is staying OPEN TO GOD. A lot of times, what keeps us closed off is, we take our eyes off God and put it on people and situations. God didn’t tell us to trust in our circumstances, our money, our intelligence, or any other thing. He said to put our TRUST AND HOPE IN HIM. He will be the waterfall from which every other healthy relationship in our lives will flow through. Without Him, our hearts and lives will be nothing more than a dried up well in the Sahari desert… EMPTY and DESTITUTE! So remember, seek to keep an open heart towards God. He will fill you with the waters of His love.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Step #3: A Confident Heart in the Faithfulness of God
“God is faithful.” It’s not a question or matter of “if” but an astounding reality that God “IS” faithful. You see, a primary key to overcoming any trust issue is believing in the heart and character of God. One of the most quintessential qualities of God is His faithfulness. If we have His faithfulness etched in the fabric of our hearts, it will extract and eliminate our fear, doubt, and our need to control. The question I had to ask myself was this, “Ashley if you believe in the faithfulness of God, what is there to really fear?” The answer.. “NOTHING!” Please, if you didn’t get anything else I wrote, I want you to really get this one. God is so faithful, that He will help you and me through EVERY situation, circumstance, and individual that comes into our life. He is so faithful, that even people who come into your life that have hidden motives and negative agendas, He will reveal to you and even use the evil they do toward you to work out ultimately for your good and for His glory. God is so faithful that He will bring clarity and shine light on those individuals in your life that you can trust. He will be your pillar of strength and will help you open your heart toward loving and trusting the right individuals. The power does not lie in us controlling our lives, but us having confidence in God’s faithfulness. He can be trusted. Rest in that truth.
“The Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one.”
-2 Thess 3:3
Until next time..
Trust Issues Rehab