Women were never designed to look for a man. NEVER. Nowhere in scripture is there an example of a woman PURSUING a man, or going out to HUNT for a husband. So why is it that so many single women of today are compelled and even at times encouraged to look for a future husband? Sis, if you are that woman, I want to encourage you to stop looking. You are a beautiful woman created in the image of God and He wants you to live your life in way that brings Him glory and honor. If you are on the hunt and prowl for a man, I’m here to tell you that God is not getting the most glory out of your life by living that way. You must walk in the purpose and design in which God fashioned for you to live. That my friend is a life completely and fully focused on God, not a man.
So what if you have a desire to be married one day, but you don’t want that desire to supersede your desire for God? How do you live life desiring a husband but not idolizing a husband? How do you deal with moments of loneliness, sadness, or frustration? How do you stop looking for a man and start looking to God? Here’s how:
1. Work on being the best you for the Lord.
There is nothing more beautiful and glorifying to God, than to wake up everyday with the mentality to be the best YOU for HIM. I want to encourage you to live life ON purpose and IN the purpose of God. Cultivate your gifts, your talents…pursue your god-given dreams. Live life focused on ways in which God can get the most glory out of you. Don’t strive to be a better cook or cleaner for a future husband, but do it because it cultivates a better you and it brings God glory. Don’t work on your health, and exercise more so you can get in better shape to catch the eye of a man, but do it because it brings God glory and cultivates a better you. Focus your energy, not on a man but on cultivating a better “YOU” for God.
“Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”-Colossians 3:17
2. Pray to God about your desires.
Prayer is powerful. For every faithful daughter of God, prayer should be a lifestyle. I encourage you to pray to God, about ALL your desires. Every one of them, take it to HIM in prayer. Stop running to people, friends, and even men. If you’re hurting, if you’re desiring the affections of a man, if you’re lonely, if you’re confused, if you’re frustrated, or if you feel the bitter root of jealousy starting to arise within you…, take it TO God. He cares and He is there. He’s a God that is mindful of His creation. God cares about all women, not just the married ones. He cares about single women too! So, even if you have to snotty nose cry it out to God, DO IT! You’re not going to run Him away.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.”-1 Peter 5:7
“Pray without ceasing.”-1 Thess 5:17
3. Trust God’s will, beyond your desires.
I must say, this is probably one of the hardest concepts for us to grasp as women. But even if it’s hard, the truth of the matter is we still must obey. We have to get to the point where we are willing to trust GOD’S WILL beyond our desires. What does that mean? It means that we have to get to point where after we have laid all of our desires out to God, that we are ultimately content, confident, and at peace with HIS WILL for our lives. Whatever His will may look like. *Whew! Take a breath* I know that’s a hard one. But sis, it’s the truth. God has never failed his faithful children and He know’s the life in which we need to live so He can get the most glory. So if that is married life, to Him be the glory. If that is a single life, to Him be the glory STILL! The question is this, do you trust God or not? If you do, simply live every day obedient to his direction. He’s got you!
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight.”-Proverbs 3:5-6
4. Focus on the blessings of your present singleness.
No matter the season, if you have God, YOU ARE BLESSED. The quickest way to live in a web of self-pity and discontentment is to live life being unthankful of your present blessings. YOU ARE BLESSED! YOU. ARE. BLESSED!!! Do you hear me? You are blessed in your singleness. There are so many reasons to be joyful right now. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and who you don’t have and start praising God for what you do have! He has placed people in your life right now to help nurture you, encourage you, and grow you up in Him. He has presented opportunities to you in this season to better cultivate you in Him. God is worthy of praise in your current season. Don’t allow the devil to steal your praise. Focus on the blessings that God has given you! Focus on His goodness and faithfulness. He loves you, even in your singleness.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”-1 Thess 5:18
5. Keep the perspective of eternity at the forefront of your heart.
At the conclusion of everything is this, I will die and you will die. Eternity is around the corner. We focus so much time and energy on meaningless things, and pout to God about what we don’t have or who we don’t have, all the while missing the bigger picture. Your life is about bringing God glory, carrying out His will for your life, and making eternity with God your home. That’s what matters! Not if you stay single, or if you get married. The beautiful thing about all of this, is that He can use you as a single woman or you as a married woman to get His will accomplished. So, I want to encourage you to everyday remind yourself of this simple truth. Think eternity, not temporary. Let God get glory out of your life, no matter the season!
“Here is the conclusion of the matter. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.”-Ecc 12:13
6. Love God more than anything and anyone else.
This one needs no explanation. Just love Him. Love Him, in everything, in every season, in every moment. Love HIM.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”-Mark 12:30
I’m praying for you.