Confessions of a Christian Virgin Pt4 “Ways to Overcome and Abstain From Sexual Immorality” 6 through 10
6 USE SELF CONTROL NOT BIRTH CONTROL
I know I will probably get A LOT of heat for saying this lol…but I’m going to go ahead and say it because God’s spirit is leading me to do so! For single Christians our form of “birth control” is called “self-control.” I know the world tells us that there’s nothing wrong with using condoms, or taking birth control pills, birth control shots, IUDs etc..but we’re not under the world’s standards, we’re under God’s standards. If you’re not taking birth control for medical reasons like hormonal issues or something, then there’s no need for a single Christian to be taking it. You may be thinking… “Well Ashley, what about if I just take it just in case, as preventory measure because I know I’m weak with abstaining from sexual immorality? It’s better for me to be safe then sorry right?” I will say it again, the answer to that is self-control! There’s no such thing as “just in case I sin” in God’s word. God calls us to remain pure…period point blank (1 Cor 6:19).
So many times individuals want to use birth-control as a security blanket to protect them from unwanted pregnancy. NO form of birth control can protect you from the spiritual separation from God that occurs because of sexual immorality and NO form of birth control can protect you from the consequences that you have to deal with as a result of sexual immorality ( 1 Cor 6:9-10). We are not God so at the end of the day birth control is not 100% effective. If God chooses to open up your womb or the womb of the woman you’re laying with, He will open it up! Birth control cannot protect you and or save you. Only obedience to God’s word can. I believe using birth control also gives you more of an incentive to have sex because it gives you a false sense of security. There are even parents who choose to give it to their teenage children thinking their doing them a favor, but in actuality they are bringing harm to their children. Christian households should not promote the usage of birth control for their single children. It doesn’t matter how sexually active someone has been in the past or is currently, God’s word stands true. If individuals are bold enough to lie down and partake in sexual sins, they should be bold enough to deal with the consequences that sexual immorality brings. Self-control and obedience to God’s word is the answer…not birth control.
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” – Proverbs 25:28
7 SURROUND YOURSELF BY PEOPLE AND ENVIRONMENTS THAT SUPPORT YOUR SPIRITUAL DECISION
The people that are closest to us and the environments that we keep around us have a continual effect on us. There’s nothing more disheartening than to want to grow spiritually but have people constantly around you who are pulling you away from spiritually growing. The bible lets us know that “bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Cor 15:33). We can’t expect to continually surround ourselves by unspiritual individuals and unspiritual environments and expect to grow spiritually (2 Cor 6: 14). That may mean letting go of some friends… even some relationship partners. If every time you hang with your girlfriends or home boys they are talking about their wild weekend or how they had sex with someone, how is that helping you? Or if you make it clear to them that you’re trying to abstain from sexually immorality but they are constantly questioning and pressuring you to sleep with someone, then those friends have GOT TO GO! Even if your relationship partner does not support your decision and constantly pressures you to do things, or purposely does things that get you all “hot and bothered” that person does not truly have your best interest at heart. Your relationship partner should not only respect your spiritual values but SHARE your spiritual values. How do you expect to be in a spiritual relationship if the person you’re with is constantly breaking your spiritual boundaries? If you say no kissing, no caressing and they still give continual attempts to do those things with you, the you must ask yourself, “Does this person truly care about me and my soul?” We can’t afford to keep people in our lives that constantly put our spiritual well-being at stake.
We must watch our environments as well. Environments play a really big part (1 Thess 5:22). Going to parties and/or clubs watching people grind on each other, or being surrounded by people who are half dressed is NOT helping your mind stay in a pure spiritual state. Instead it’s tempting you and potentially opening the door for you to put yourself in a compromising situation. We must constantly be aware about the people we have in our lives and the environments we choose to be a part of our lives. We must be sure to evaluate who we have in our lives and what spiritual effect they have on us.
“Be not deceived, evil communications corrupt good manners.” – 1 Cor 15:33
“Abstain from all appearance of evil.” – 1 Thess 5:22
8 HAVE AN ACCOUNTABLITY PARTNER
To make it through this Christian life, we must realize that we can’t do it all by ourselves. We need our Christian brothers and sisters to help us. That’s what the bible constantly reminds us of. We are to “carry each other burdens” in order to make the load of struggles and challenges that much easier. So I encourage you, if you have not gotten an accountability partner, get one. This accountability partner may be different for everyone. For some people it may be one of their parents, a sibling, a close friend, a mentor, or a cousin. The only key in an accountability partner is that they must be someone who is a spiritual individual who can properly encourage and advise you in a spiritual way. They should be someone that can pray with you and for you. They should also be someone who you can openly share your struggles with and bare your soul before. This is important because you should want to be able to be fully honest with them so they can help you with whatever struggle you’re dealing with. We ALL STRUGGLE and knowing that we’re not alone in the Christian fight gives us the strength to keep moving forward. So don’t be afraid to get an accountability partner and have someone you can talk to about your struggles and temptations.
“Carry each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”- Gal 6:2
***Sidenote**** (I recommend keeping this accountability partner to someone of the same sex in order to prevent mix singles and/or dangerous emotional ties from being developed).
9 KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
So many times we do ourselves an injustice by having a continual negative attitude about something that God wants us to do. God’s commandments should never be burdensome to us but instead delightful to participate in. When we say things like… “Man what’s the point of not having sex? Everybody else is doing it.” Or “It’s so lame being a virgin or not participating in sexual things. Who does that anymore?” Or “Who’s going to want me if I’m not willing to have sex with them while I date them?” When we think things like that, we are subliminally sending ourselves messages that counteract the very thing that we are trying to do. Stay positive no matter what (Phil 4:8)! Realize that what God is calling you to do is SO WORTH IT! Realize the blessing in glorifying and pleasing God. When we realize the joy it brings God to know that His children are living a life that glorifies Him, we should never get tired of living right. Abstaining from sexual immorality is worth keeping a positive attitude about because it’s something that pleases God. Don’t be a “Debbie Downer” on yourself. Realize the joy in living a life for God! You can do it!
“This is love for God to obey his commands. And His commands are not burdensome.” -1John 5:3
10 STAY PRODUCTIVE AND KEEP YOURSELF ACTIVE IN THE LORD’S WORK
An idle mind and an idle life is the Devil’s playground. So many times we get caught up with sexual sins and temptations because we’re not being productive for the Lord. Every day we should constantly seek opportunities to become active in the Lord’s kingdom. When we stay focused on “kingdom business” we have no time to focus on unspiritual things. Staying busy in God’s kingdom also prevents self-pity and time to sit and indulge in unfruitful behavior. It gives you a reason every day to live and work towards something because you realize that you have an important role in the kingdom of God. So stay busy in God no matter what! It will prevent A LOT OF pitfalls and sexual sins.
“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” -1 Cor 15:58
♥ Ashley Moneet