If the only reason you came to read this blog was to find out all my secrets, sins, and mistakes then think again. Yes I am a Christian and yes I am a virgin but what I’ll be confessing is not all the little details of my life. I’ll be confessing my thoughts and perspectives about how it is living as young, Christian woman, and virgin in the 21st century. My purpose for writing this is to spiritually inspire, encourage, and motivate you. I want to spark your spiritual intellect and as a result bring about spiritual awareness to you on the topic of sex and purity. My goal is to encourage you and apart of encouraging you is being transparent and real with you. No I’m not going to tell you any lies, no I’m not just going to tell you things you want to hear, but I am going to tell you the truth of my life; most importantly the truth of God’s word. My prayer is that God can use the words I write on this page to bring about an internal change of heart that will ultimately lead you to walk closer with Him. All I ask of you is that you’re patient with me as I share my story and that you keep an open, loving, and nonjudgmental mindset as you read this.
Growing up in a Christian home, one thing was always clear and that was that sex before marriage was not even an option and that God’s word was very clear about it. Even dating was a topic that had set boundaries and my father made sure every rule was made clear to me and my sister. As I got older I was increasingly exposed to the topics of boys and sex from the media, school, and friends. I soon began to realize that God’s view and the world’s view of sex were POLAR opposites. This brought about so many challenges because while the fleshly part of me was curious and wanted to know more about sex, the spiritual part of me knew that God wanted to protect me from the evil things that were promoted about sex throughout the world. As a result, the journey to becoming the 22 year old woman I am today has not been an easy one. I have made plenty mistakes, more than I can even count! I have experienced pain, shame, confusion, separation from God, insecurity, anger, jealousy, emptiness, challenges, heartbreak and moments where I didn’t love or even like myself. You may be thinking to yourself, this sounds totally opposite to the Ashley that I know. But yes, this is my truth. I have faced so many battles when it has come to keeping my purity. These battles have ranged from internal psychosocial conflicts, peer pressure, media pressure, physical temptations, people’s expectations, and hormonal changes. You name them, I’ve faced them! But the key I want you to see is that although I have faced all of these battles, I have overcame many battles and am still overcoming other battles with the strength and help of God. And you can also overcome. God is faithful to His children and will always be present to help when in need.
“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.” – 1 cor 10:13
WHY DID GOD CREATE SEX?
As you read this, I want you to know that you can overcome whatever sexual struggle or temptation you’re dealing with. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married sexual temptations always present themselves. NO ONE IS EXEMPT! So we must be aware and prepared to fight. To better be equipped for fighting sexual immorality, it’s best if we take time to understand God’s intended purpose for sex.
God created us with a sexual component. And we all know that what God created from the very beginning was never evil, it was good. God created sex not just for pleasure but also for procreation. He wanted Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). The bible makes it clear that from the very beginning God’s providential design consisted of a husband and wife to partake in this intimate act together. He never intended for it be used any other way. Consequently, any time sexual intercourse happens outside of two people being husband and wife God does not see it as sex but sees it as either fornication or adultery. Those two things are not glorified by God and are sinful in His sight.
““Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” –Hebrews 13:4
From our very existence God always wanted us to stay within His intended design, boundaries, and purpose for our lives. However, society has twisted and misconstrued God’s true meaning and purpose of sex. God wants you and I to see and remember that sex and the sexual nature are not wrong, but it becomes wrong when we use them outside of their intended purpose. For He knows, that you and I can never truly receive the full blessings of sex when we use it outside its intended purpose.
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband…”– 1 Cor 7:2-3
“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” – 2 Tim 2:22
SOCIETY’S VIEW ON SEX
In today’s society, sex which was once a sacred act, has turned into a social event. Many individuals have lost the respect for it, the reverence for it, and consequently have lost the RESPONSIBILITY that comes with it. The moment of our creation we were made to be physical and spiritual beings. Within God’s creation of us, He included our sexual component and nature. Sex from the very beginning with Adam and Eve was NEVER sinful; it was never created to be sinful in anyway. God intended for sex to be a beautiful blessing to be shared between a husband and wife.
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” -Genesis 2:21-25
Something that God never intended to be sinful; humans have now made that very thing become sinful by using it outside of its intended purpose. The world has taken one of God’s greatest blessings and turned into a wicked thing! The majority of the world’s view on virginity and purity is no longer commendable but instead condemnable. In fact in the 21st century, SEX IS EVERYWHERE! There used to be a shame about people sleeping together, or getting pregnant out of wedlock, or showing any form of skin and nudity. But today, there is actually no shame in anything. It’s even hard to find a decent TV show, walk outside, or do anything without having to see half naked men and women. So what happened? Why have people gotten so far from God’s intended purpose for sex? It’s because many people aren’t educated or taught about God’s intended design and purpose for sex. It’s because we’re not talking about it ENOUGH within our homes and churches. If the world can openly talk about sex, than why can’t Christians openly talk about God’s intended purpose for sex? If we want to save our generations and bring people closer to God, we can’t be ashamed of speaking the truth of God’s word when it comes to sexual sins. Our homes and churches shouldn’t be places of judgment, but places where people can openly come and pour their hearts out and feel comfortable with talking about their struggles. One thing is true, and that is we ALL have struggled with sexual temptations, whether it’s currently or in the past. So instead of us keeping quiet about it, we need to speak up about it, and promote God’s word about it.
So as a Christian, I want to help encourage everyone to become more spiritually aware about God’s design for sex and what it means to keep ourselves pure before Him. I know it’s not easy, but with God helps anything is possible. I know for me personally, the moment I decided to follow Jesus and made a vow to abstain from sexual immorality the devil pressed me so hard and still presses me to give in, to reconsider, to forget about trying. However, what always reals me back in, is knowing that you and I have a Heavenly Father and a Savior who are rooting for us and constantly fueling us with strength to fight and overcome the devil.
“Resist the devil and he will flee from you..” – James 4:7
To Be Continued…