Beauty In Brokenness
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
Never have I known the meaning of brokenness like I have this past year. At the beginning of 2016 I asked the Lord to refine me and to mold me during this season. I wanted Him to prepare me for the future and the purpose He had for my life. So I stepped away from social media, cleared my life and mind of distractions and clutter, and sought everyday to the best of my ability to allow His word and will to guide my life. Little did I know that God’s refinement process for me would involve loss, hurt, brokenness, and testing.
Life and it’s experiences broke me down all the way to the core. There were many things that happened to me in this season of life that I did not see coming…loss after loss, heartache after heartache, heartbreak after heartbreak, death of friends and death of family. I remember there were many nights that I laid on the cold room of my floor weeping, unable to move. All I had enough strength to say through my pool of tears was,
“Lord help me. I need you.”
Many days I felt that God had forgotten about me, that He didn’t truly love me because He allowed all these things to happen to me. The pain was so great..so unbearable that there were some days that I was angry, other days just simply confused, and other nights extremely overcome with uncontrollable grief.
Crying was an almost every day thing.
Smiling and laughing seemed so foreign to me.
I was broken.
I was hurting.
I was in desperate need of healing.
I didn’t feel like myself, I didn’t feel like Ashley anymore. Even the most encouraging word from a family member or a friend couldn’t truly restore me, or fix the hurt I was experiencing. I felt imprisoned by my brokenness. I wanted to be set free, I wanted to be fixed and restored!
And that’s exactly what God did and is STILL doing.. “fixing and restoring me.”
I write this to you right now as a person who has been broken by life, but yet is still standing, still believing and still trusting in an amazing God! I couldn’t see it then, but boy oh boy do I see it now! Each experience this past year was apart of God’s refining process for my life. In the midst of my brokenness, He was restoring me, rebuilding me and molding me into the woman of God that He wanted me to be. There were things about the old Ashley that He needed to remove and break out of me. Things like, “lack of faith, pride, a need to control, an unforgiving heart, pessimism, resentment, and selfishness.”
My brokenness in this season revealed my unrighteous behavior, but what was even more astounding is that my brokenness revealed God’s righteous character!
Through my brokenness, His love, His comfort, His faithful presence and redemptive glory seeped through every crack of my hurting heart.
My brokenness coerced me to lay at God’s feet,
weep at His feet,
and STAY at His feet.
Never had I been more desperate for God then in my brokenness. And because of that my relationship with God was strengthened and is still being strengthened.
He is my best friend, my everything, and my all and all. He fixed me when no one or nothing else could! His word spoke to my pain and healed my hurt. He brought my joy, my smile, and my laughter back when I thought it was forever lost. He infused a strength within me, that I never knew I could possess. He changed me by first allowing me to be broken and then putting me back together as a more refined vessel for Him.
He’s still piecing me back together. There are still days where I feel a tinge of sting from old healing wounds. Even some days, where healing scabs get nicked and tears start to well within me. But I have learned to run to my source of healing..my ultimate healer and refiner..my loving Heavenly Maker. Even on the most painful day, He has a way of always making me feel better and as a result He’s able to TRULY make me better.
Oh what beauty I have found in my brokenness!
My friend as you read these words, I want you to know this. God loves you…even in your brokenness! I’m not sure what has broken you at this time in your life. It may be the loss of a loved one, financial crisis, a painful break up, strained relationships, family issues or sickness. Whatever has broken you in this season I want you to remember this.
The beauty about brokenness is through it we have a chance to experience the true meaning of godly restoration. When God puts us back together “piece by piece.” When His loving hands press on our bleeding heart. When He takes the time to bind up all our wounds and heals us completely! That experience is a life changing one. When we’ve been hurt by life, yes it’s something we will never forget. But when we’ve been HEALED by God that’s a memory, an experience that transcends into all of eternity!
Always remember the greater the hurt and brokenness, the better and greater the healing will be! You are being refined. You are being FIXED into a more FINE-tuned vessel for the Lord. Rejoice for your brokenness will reveal the glory and faithfulness of God. With each broken piece of your life, through it’s cracks, God’s light will seep through ever so brightly. And because of that, your testimony of brokenness will not only change you but will forever change those around you for the better. Oh what beauty there is in your brokenness! Oh what beauty there is in brokenness! Let your cry be,
“Oh Lord break me so you can make me into that which you will have me to be!”
Be encouraged my friend.
This is not the end for you.
It’s only the beginning!
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed, perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.”
-2 Cor 4:7-9
Fearless. Faithful. Following.
*I want you to take some time this week to focus on the beauty in your brokenness. No matter what you are dealing with in life right now, or what you have dealt with, know that God has the power to make it beautiful.
*Memory verses for this week: (2 Cor 4:7-9 & Psalm 37:17-18)
*Bible character to study: Joseph (Gen 37-50)
*If you have anything you would like to share, whether it be a testimony, a question, or you want to express how you feel about this blog, please comment below. I would love to hear from you!